


You Are What You Eat

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Eating Disorders, Lance (Voltron) Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 08:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16698541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	You Are What You Eat

When his life was at his lowest, he didn’t know what to do. He knew he had some eating disorder, but couldn’t name it. What he ate did not consume his life, he just didn’t eat anything other than the dinner his parents served. He’d do physical activity every day, whether that he running, gymnastics or just messing around with friends.

It soon got worse though. He wouldn’t eat if his parents weren’t home, or he’d lie about eating if it was leftovers night. He’d made it a routine to go for a walk right after school and then go practice his gymnastics. He was 5’8(178cm) and only 115lbs (52 kg). He would often fidget with his collar bone that would stick out, and for some reason he liked it.

He went to the Garrison where they would feed them all three meals. His friend Hunk started to notice Lance’s issues with eating and was going to confront him, but Pidge said something first. “You never eat. You’re already skinny, eat something.” His tone of voice was so comical, it seemed if he really didn’t care what Lance did. Which hurt.

That made him get up and leave to his dorm, the uniform hid exactly how skinny he actually was. He sat in his bed, messing with his collar bone. Hunk soon found him and that’s when Lance spilled the beans. Leandro García was an odd one. He had no problem with his body, he just, he couldn’t stop. He explained his mini-obsession. His disgusting joy when he can fill his bones.

Hunk was kind and offered to help him get through it. Lance never cried so much happy tears in his life. He hated what he was doing to himself and he always felt so fragile, but could not stop no matter how much he tried. Now he would have help. Actual help. Hunk would bake things in the kitchen(when the Garrison allows it) and would Lance eat it. He made low fat things at first so he wouldn’t go into a fit, and it worked.

Going into space did not help his efforts either. He started feeding the mice his goo instead of eating it himself. All his progress with Hunk was almost gone and he was slipping back into his old ways. What he did not expect was Hunk to barge in his room to yell at him. “You lied!”

“L-Lied? About what?!”

“I saw! I saw you feed the mice the food! You lied to me! You said you wouldn’t go back to that!”

“Hunk that was over a month ago! Why are you angry now?!” Lance quickly stood up. He’s breathing heavy, he’s scared.

Hunk groans, rubbing his face. “You’ve done it multiple times! Lance, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’re not 5’8 anymore. You’re 5’11 and your ‘dream weight’ then would kill you now.”

“It’s not a dream weight! I hate it! I don’t want to do this but I can’t stop! Ive tried and I’ve tried but I can’t!” Lance starts to dig and grab at his collarbone. “It’s harder than you think. There’s the voices in your head telling you otherwise. ‘Your body looks great, but we can make it better,’ and they won’t stop.”

“Leandro, please. I just want to help you.”

“All I can think about is what’s in that damn goo! High in calories, or something! If one bowl can keep us sustained like a full course meal!”

Hunk pulls Lance into a hug. “I know, I’m sorry I yelled, it’s okay, I’m sorry.”

Lance just cries into Hunk’s shoulder. His own mother didn’t even know about his problems and he sure as hell didn’t want to tell her. Hunk was the only one he could trust.

With the castle gone and the food being rationed, Lance wasn’t doing too well. He sat on the floor around the fire.

“Hey, uh, Lance can I talk to you?”

“Sure thing Keith, what do you need?” Lance walks over to the other where they step off so the others can’t hear them.

“Are, are you okay? You look really tired and I’m worried.”

The Cuban takes a deep breath fiddling with his neck contemplating if he should tell Keith or not. “I’m not doing too well on the rations. I-I kinda had — have? — an eating disorder and uh, it’s just, god this was easier with Hunk for some reason,” he sighs. “It’s just, I’m tired.”

“Anorexia?”

“N-No, it’s, it’s something else. Look Keith, I’m not asking for more rations, I’m just asking can we not train as much on our pit stops? I just need time to like, I don’t know.”

Hunk walks over to the two, “Hey, Lance here.”

“We’ve talked about this Hunk. I don’t get extra rations.”

“I’m in charge of the food, so what I say goes. Just take it.”

Lance shakes his head. “I’m fine, okay? I’ve eaten all my rations, I don’t need more.”

“Please, Lance.”

“I’m not special okay? Everyone gets one, maybe two! I’ve had my two!”

Keith steps in “Lance he’s just trying to help.”

“Well he’s not! Giving me more food isn’t going to help! I struggle to keep down what I eat now, if I eat more, my body will forcefully throw up because it still thinks that will make me fat!”

Lance could already see where this was going but yet he didn’t even hold himself back.

“Really? Really? I am just worried for my friend that has had to have been hospitalized because is problem with food! What if that has to happen again! I don’t think the single healing pod we have will help!”

“You’re not any better! You’re just the exact opposite! All you do when stressed is eat!”

Hunk drops the ration bag in the floor, “What the hell is wrong with you?! You decided to nag me in my eating habits? Yes, I am overweight, but I won’t end up killing myself like you’ll eventually do!”

“You stress eat your life away! Any time you’re close to a panic attack you just eat! Don’t nag me on my habits! You binge food, I used too as well, but the only difference is that I—”

“Stop it! Both of you! Jut put the rations back, Hunk and both of you, I’d suggest just going to sleep, okay?”

Lance nods walking away and into his lion, slamming himself into his cot, which he is surprised didn’t break, and starts crying. Not only was he rude to his best friend that was just trying to help, he hit his deepest insecurity. Hunk would never do that to him, so why did Lance have to do it to him?

His deepest insecurity isn’t even his weight, it’s being ignored, forgotten and/or replaced because he’s not good enough. Some call it athazagoraphobia and atleophobia.

A few hours later, Shiro comes into Lance’s lion, and it just so happens Lance was staring at himself with his shirt off, and god, how did he never realize he was so skinny?

“Lance?” Shiro walks into the lion and Lance can tell he’s trying his best not to stare.

“Gah! Shiro, ever heard of knocking?” he grabs his jacket, but puts it down. “Did Hunk or Keith talk to you?”

“Hunk. Lance, do you realize how hurtful what you said was?”

He nods, keeping his eyes down. “I don’t know why I said it. It’s just… god, he knows. He knows if I try and eat so much my body will throw it up, and I have to take it on slowly.”

Shiro walks over to Lance and puts his arm around him. “I know you care deeply for Hunk, I know he’s your best friend, but what you said was not okay. You need to apologize.”

“I-I know,” Lance grabs his shirt, putting it on then putting on his jacket, and by the look of his face, Shiro finally understood how Lance his his weight from everyone. “P-Please don’t stare at me okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.”

Lance walks out of the lion with Shiro and sees Hunk, who he runs up to hug. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he buries his face in Hunks chest and soon feels the hug being returned.

“It’s okay,” Hunk hugs Lance tightly. “We’ll get through this. I promise Lance.”

“I know, I know.”

The fear still lingers In Lance. One of the saying “you are what you eat” flows in his head. I’m his case he’d be nothing. And he hates it.

Lance knows he needs to get better and he wants to get better but is afraid to do so. That’s why he’s glad he has such great friends by his side, at least they’ll help him get through this part of his life.


End file.
